<div dir="ltr">You have way too much time on your hands. Did you read Cloud Atlas by any chance? If not, do so.<div><br></div><div>Thank you for a great start to my day.</div></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><br><div class="gmail_quote">
On Tue, Apr 1, 2014 at 1:09 AM, Alex Balashov <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:abalashov@evaristesys.com" target="_blank">abalashov@evaristesys.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
For immediate release:<br>
<br>
ATLANTA, GA (1 April 2014)--Evariste Systems LLC, an Atlanta-based<br>
consultancy and software vendor specialising in Kamailio-based VoIP<br>
infrastructure solutions for the ITSP (Internet Telephony Service<br>
Provider) market, has announced the public release of its groundbreaking<br>
"Social Configuration" module for the Kamailio open-source SIP server<br>
and SIP proxy.<br>
<br>
Evariste principal Alex Balashov explained:<br>
<br>
"It's no secret that writing Kamailio configuration in its embedded<br>
scripting language is complex. Social Configuration integrates with<br>
Twitter and Facebook to allow tens of thousands of people to write a<br>
config simultaneously through social networks, over a variety of devices<br>
and media, including PCs, tablets, smartphones and SMS. This lets Kamailio<br>
users harness the benefits of crowdsourcing."<br>
<br>
Continued Balashov: "The process begins when the Kamailio administrator<br>
writes the desired intentions of their setup--yes, in natural English<br>
prose. This isn't for propellerheads.<br>
<br>
The module sends this to our proprietary QNLP (quantum natural language<br>
parsing) server, which splits these desiderata into Business Action<br>
Items (BAIs). These are then sent out to participating Facebook and<br>
Twitter users via our expansive middleware, and the users return their<br>
piecemeal script implementations, which are usually one line of code or<br>
less. These are consolidated back into a fully functional Kamailio<br>
configuration."<br>
<br>
Brooks Bridges, Director of Engineering at Evariste, explained how<br>
Social Configuration handles reconciliation of conflicting implementations<br>
from across the Twittersphere and Facebook:<br>
<br>
"This is really the heart of the technology. It's handled via a deeply<br>
recursive, Rails-based social A/B testing and multiple-choice polling<br>
system. It uses hashtags, trending and RSS and stuff. The days of merge<br>
conflicts with unified diffs are gone! Throw out your legacy version<br>
control, 'cause this is Conflict Resolution 2.0: The Feed!"<br>
<br>
Another frequently asked question lingered: assembling the contributions<br>
in a particular order. On this topic, Balashov offered a surprising<br>
answer:<br>
<br>
"Plot twist: that's social, too! Twitter is an infinitely dynamic<br>
collaboration platform. The question isn't so much 'what can social<br>
networks do for us?' as 'what can't they do?' You can see that there<br>
are many strata of social clouds here: cumulus, stratus, cirrus--we've<br>
got all the clouds!"<br>
<br>
"Xzibit would make it easier to understand for the layman," chortled<br>
Balashov as he shifted his position slightly.<br>
<br>
"The whole process uses infinitely differential recursion manifolds.<br>
It's like: 'Yo dawg, I heard you like crowds, so we put a crowd in your<br>
crowd, so you can crowd while you crowd', you know? All stages of the<br>
process happen simultaneously and in real time. It's consensus-driven<br>
development by a Committee of the Ultimate."<br>
<br>
Balashov also stated that total development time for Social Configuration<br>
was only three days, rather than the thousands of man-hours normally<br>
required to develop complex technology. When asked how this was possible,<br>
he deferred to Bridges:<br>
<br>
Bridges explained:<br>
<br>
"It's all because we embraced the Agile Full Vapour method at our company.<br>
Maybe you've heard of it.<br>
<br>
Classic Agile and 'customer-driven development' says 'release early,<br>
fail often'. That wasn't enough for us. Agile Full Vapour is Agile<br>
extended to its logical maximum. Our slogan here at Evariste Engineering<br>
is 'Release Too Early, Fail More Often'. And stand-ups? Ain't nobody got<br>
time for that. We've done away with all team communication or collaboration<br>
of any kind. We've slashed overhead to a new level, and the numbers speak<br>
for themselves. We get three thousand percent more out of our developers<br>
than anyone, anywhere else."<br>
<br>
Balashov concurred, gesturing to the Evariste office "Vapour Board":<br>
<br>
"I really don't know how legacy Agile companies get anything done!"<br>
<br>
Initial reactions to the new technology from inside the VoIP community<br>
were positive.<br>
<br>
Sean McCord, Vice President of Wholesale Hashtag and viral marketing expert<br>
at Atlanta-based social media anaytics giant CyCORE Systems, agreed<br>
that Social Configuration is an essential leap forward for the Kamailio<br>
ecosystem:<br>
<br>
"The Social Configuration module heralds the long-overdue marriage of<br>
Kamailio with the Social Web, the biggest trend of the Internet in this<br>
millenium so far, and probably for the rest of the millenium. Everyone<br>
knows that the wisdom of crowds is greater than the wisdom of one."<br>
<br>
On the broader theme of Kamailio's ascendancy to the mainstream of the<br>
Social Web, McCord said:<br>
<br>
"Anyway, the whole reason Kamailio hasn't gone viral so far is due to<br>
lack of network effects. We have planking, owling, Grumpy Cat, so why<br>
not Kamailio? Kamailio's imagery is green like Philosoraptor. What's<br>
stopping it from going big like Philosoraptor? No network effects, no<br>
multiplier--that is, until now."<br>
<br>
J.R. Richardson, Chief Technology Officer of Dallas-based Ntegrated<br>
Solutions, reported positive results from his initial testing:<br>
<br>
"Down here in Texas, we're a real social bunch. But I always felt so<br>
lonely writing Kamailio script by myself. I don't even know what I'm<br>
doing half the time. But now, with this Social Configuration business,<br>
the whole neighborhood can help out!"<br>
<br>
John Knight, Chief Engineer at Ringfree Communications in Hendersonville,<br>
North Carolina, also spoke highly of the new social technology:<br>
<br>
"It's great! The config just writes itself! But the best part for me,<br>
as a civically conscious businessman, is the economic boost. It's a<br>
much better employment opportunity for stay-at-home moms in Appalachia<br>
than Mechanical Turk. I'm paying out 2 cents per core function call,<br>
4 cents per modparam, 10 cents per Record-Route parameter, and 5 cents<br>
per module function invocation. Stimulate this economy!"<br>
<br>
Carlos Alvarez, an international business consultant at The Himley<br>
Dock Table Agency, a Phoenix, Arizona-area think tank focused on<br>
sociology of the World Wide Web, was keen to note that the technology<br>
brought forth by Evariste was far more than just a different way of<br>
implementing Kamailio solutions.<br>
<br>
"We were talking with Evariste about building an XMPP server and selling<br>
it to Facebook for $20 billion, but that train left the station. It was<br>
a blessing in disguise, though, because it told us that we weren't thinking<br>
big enough. Social Configuration is way more transformative."<br>
<br>
Asked further about what it meant, Alvarez said:<br>
<br>
"This is going to have implications way beyond esoteric programming.<br>
A crowdsourced config is nothing like an individual's config; it's<br>
e-cosmopolitanism, it's Humanity 2.0. It will open up the floor to<br>
new kinds of first movers and lead to new assumptions about how<br>
scripts of all kinds should be written.<br>
<br>
It's going to challenge established notions of what it means to program,<br>
and it will make the playing field more level by disintermediating the<br>
supply chain of session initiation. A lot of middlemen are going to hurt.<br>
One does not simply program the program anymore; the program programs<br>
you, too. It programs all of us. For the first time, request routes and<br>
SRV load balancing are part of a living, breathing organism. And that's<br>
worth way more than an XMPP server. That's disruption right there."<br>
<br>
After a moment's thought, Alvarez added:<br>
<br>
"I can probably flip it to Facebook for at least $3 trillion in Zuckerberg<br>
funny money--whoops, did I say that? I meant Facebook stock."<br>
<br>
The transformative impact forecasted by Alvarez is seemingly borne out<br>
in the enthusiasm for Social Configuration shown around the world by a<br>
variety of societal constituencies not traditionally thought to be<br>
associated with software development and telecommunications.<br>
<br>
Jakub Klausa, a self-described member of an "anarcho-syndicalist reading<br>
group" in Wroclaw, Poland, confidently offered a hypothesis about the`<br>
new era brought forth by Social Configuration:<br>
<br>
"Let's start with the deeply-ingrained assumption of Kamailio consultant<br>
or trainer as 'teacher', as a purveyor of knowledge that he has and you<br>
don't," said Klausa.<br>
<br>
"That's a very oppressive, authoritarian construction. It's quite<br>
presumptuous and dehumanising. Oh, does the Kamailio 'expert', His<br>
Royal Highness, deign to 'teach' us, to 'share' what he knows with<br>
the little people? Oh, thank you, massa', thank you!" lamented Klausa.<br>
<br>
"You see, it's not so much about what the consultants and self-anointed<br>
mailing list demigods can 'teach' us. It's more about what we can all<br>
learn from each other! Social Configuration is a tool that finally<br>
allows us, the workers, the so-called 'newbies', to take the power<br>
of Kamailio into our hands and master our own destiny. It's time to<br>
put a knife through the tyranny of 'expertise' and 'knowledge'."<br>
<br>
The Chairman of the Plenary Session of the Central Committee of the<br>
Revolutionary Communist Party of Poland, Magdalena Boksa, issued the<br>
following communiqué from the party's headquarters, thought to be<br>
located in an underground bunker beneath a Starbucks:<br>
<br>
Social Configuration empowers the revolutionary vanguard<br>
of the activated, class-conscious proletariat to commandeer<br>
the machinery of Kamailio, in order to advance a scientific<br>
understanding of the objective laws of motion of the<br>
capitalist system, together with the tension of its internal<br>
contradictions, in keeping with the essential truth of<br>
dialectical materialism.<br>
<br>
The global imperialist division of labour, as revealed by<br>
V.I. Lenin in Selected Works, Vol. 1, shall meet its end<br>
through the thunderous destruction of the petit-bourgeois<br>
monopoly on knowledge-as-capital and the extraction of<br>
surplus value from it. Through the dogma of Social Configuration,<br>
the means of production in Information Technology shall be<br>
socialised among the working class, distributed according to<br>
the principle of "from each according to his ability, to each<br>
according to his need".<br>
<br>
When asked about the revolutionary potential of Social Configuration,<br>
a young student member of the RCP-Poland Youth Brigade concurred<br>
with Comrade Boksa's recitation:<br>
<br>
"¡Venceremos! ¡No pasarán! ¡Hasta la victoria siempre!"<br>
<br>
The impact of Social Configuration has even played out on a national, and<br>
perhaps global level of significance. A brief statement from the Ministry<br>
of Foreign Affairs of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea read:<br>
<br>
Social Configuration of Red Star SER [as it is known inside<br>
North Korea] is consistent with the teachings of Kim Il-Sungism<br>
and Kim Jong-Ilism. Great Leader Kim Jong-Un, Supreme Commander<br>
of the Korean People's Army, First Secretary of the Workers' Party<br>
of Korea, will chart the glorious course to the maximum realisation<br>
of its full military and civil potential in all spheres of public<br>
and private life. It will boost the resilience of our prosperous<br>
socialist nation in the face of a continual onslaught by the<br>
imperialist menace and its ROK puppet regime.<br>
<br>
Motivated by chronic energy shortages, the secretive North Korean state<br>
has been rumoured to be working on a Kamailio-based personal VoIP<br>
appliance that is--the first of its kind--powered not by conventional<br>
electricity, but by The Juche Idea.<br>
<br>
Social Configuration has also garnered attention from scholars attentive<br>
to the role of gender, race and privilege in the configuration scripting<br>
process.<br>
<br>
Moriah Trostler, a resident feminist scholar at the Phoenix,<br>
Arizona-based Scorpion Bay Institute of Gender Studies, gave some<br>
insight into the ways that Social Configuration potentially broadens<br>
the inclusiveness of the Kamailio tapestry:<br>
<br>
"If people would check their cisprivilege and open their eyes, they<br>
would see that Kamailio, and SIP itself, is full of oppressive,<br>
psychologically violent gendered constructions. For instance, there is<br>
the infamous 'loose routing vs. strict routing' dichotomy, which is<br>
clearly a dark, sadomasochistic allegory for capricious--dare I say<br>
schizophrenic?--sexual humiliation. It's a lurid invitation to<br>
indulge the prurient whims of the boss-with-secretary."<br>
<br>
Trostler gave another example:<br>
<br>
"And From and To 'tags'? Please, the idea of ownership of another's<br>
corporeal being, of branding--tagging--like cattle, is transparent.<br>
That's straight out of the Larry Flint smut-peddling playbook. And what's<br>
more, all this makes use of 'globally unique identifiers', the signature<br>
scent of industrial alienation--an anonymising, dystopian, Kafkaesque<br>
labyrinth. This has all the markers of masculinised depersonalisation.<br>
Need I go on?"<br>
<br>
Trostler went on: "Social Configuration opens the door to speaking truth<br>
to some of these discriminatory, alienating, gendered mental categories<br>
in which brogrammers think. Finally, women can write the Kamailio config<br>
as they might have written it, without compromising their identity or<br>
their dignity. Maybe we can even make some headway in influencing the<br>
male-dominated IETF standards process."<br>
<br>
Asked to summarise the impact of emergent minority voices and critical<br>
discourse enabled by Social Configuration, Fred Posner, a literary<br>
theorist based in Gainesville, Florida, offered the following comments:<br>
<br>
"The larger power of Social Configuration is essentially meta. It<br>
offers a new language, a new word-prism through which to look at<br>
the neosemiotic discursive space of SIP express routing. It's about<br>
reader as text, and text as reader, and the joy and wonder of their<br>
sizzling interplay."<br>
<br>
"It is evocative of Nietzsche," said Posner, gesturing to an open manhole<br>
cover on a busy Jacksonville thoroughfare.<br>
<br>
"If you stare too long into the Kamailio configuration, it, in turn,<br>
stares back into you! But now it speaks with a palpable collective voice,<br>
giving shape--definition!--to a bold, muscular subtext of configuration<br>
as culture, and culture as configuration. It is a semantic fusion of coder<br>
as critic, and critic as coder. Without knowing it--and it was<br>
inconceivable<br>
that they could have known it--Evariste has set into motion a wondrous,<br>
intricate and mesmerising ballet, a shower of sparks, a thrifty, yet<br>
spirited rejoinder to the supposed futility of poststructuralist<br>
rationalism.<br>
As we speak, a new 'Social Text' is being written!"<br>
<br>
Alistair Cunningham, a physicist from the University of Cambridge,<br>
provided an appraisal from a different angle:<br>
<br>
"Social Configuration, as interpreted by Balashov, embodies the<br>
kind of nonlinear thinking that is noticeably missing in software. At<br>
first glance, it does seem to invite a deafening cacophany, an<br>
undifferentiated chaos. But if one phase-shifts it slightly, the shadows<br>
of mathematical signatures emerge, waiting to be unlocked. The quantum<br>
resonance of social entropy doing its work gives us valuable clues into<br>
the origins of the universe at the sub-particle level."<br>
<br>
Asked about what Evariste has in store next, Balashov was<br>
uncharacteristically tight-lipped:<br>
<br>
"I can't say too much. But I can tell you it's big. Though he doesn't<br>
know it yet, we're even going to hire Leif Madsen for this, because<br>
the database is going to be at least 6 GB. That's almost a byte for<br>
every person on the planet. Definitely Big Data territory."<br>
<br>
Pressed for details, Balashov said:<br>
<br>
"Okay, okay, but this is all I'm going to say. I've got three words for<br>
you: IMS With Friends. It's a proprietary mash-up of Snapchat in the<br>
front, Hadoop in the back, and a DIAMETER billing interface in the<br>
middle. What could possibly go wrong?"<br>
<br>
<br>
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</blockquote></div><br></div>